and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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