It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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