I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
