Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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