Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
