operation have a gay friend backfired
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
