you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
