): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
