The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i think i have two assholes
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
