For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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