she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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