Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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