My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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