im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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