Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
