OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize