he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
