I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
