She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
