I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
