she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
