Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
