East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
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