I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
