All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
