If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize