OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
