This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
