The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
