I accidentally burped into my bong.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
