i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize