I feel like abortions should bother me more
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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