the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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