You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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