my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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