No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
