lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
