she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
