never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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