i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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