Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
