Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
