And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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