Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
