I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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