My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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