I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
