Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
