Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
