Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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