you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
