My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My ass is underappreciated
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
