All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize