you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
