yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
