hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
