I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize