i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
