Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
