weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
