i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
