I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
