i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
