I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
