someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
