yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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