And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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