I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
