My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize