I love black thongs
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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